The Presence of Absence…

When someone leaves your life, there is a space left behind, which we often perceive as absence.  But is it really absence? My experience of that space is that it has a very palpable presence to it, it is something in it’s own right. When my partner died, it left that kind of presence, that sense that this is not nothing, it is something.  Something very new, very unknown, very mysterious, very profound…

I am using the word presence so much in my language these days, in so many different ways. How am I present to this new reality? How is someone who left present in my life, not just in memories. What is the presence of absence?

I lived for 50 years before we met, before he was a part of my life, before I even knew he existed. In a strange, time/space continuum kind of loop, I find myself back in that space of him not existing in my life.  But I am clearly not back in my past a decade ago, this is a new space, and reality has not back-tracked, but spiraled. It is both new and not-new. He is both part of my life and not…

The field in which I dwell has changed. Whether or not we were physically together, there was always the energetic knowing that he was in the world; across the room or across town or across the continent… So what is the energetic knowing, the perception when a person is no longer physically in existence, no longer present in physical form? How do I acknowledge and honor and experience his presence now?

Death is one of the great mysteries, they say. It brings an absence and a finality that is unlike anything else.  But it also brings something else, an opportunity to experience presence in a new way. An opportunity to explore what it means and what it feels like to have someone who loves you be in your life, in your field in a completely new way. Not physical, not familiar, but very, very real.

 

2 comments to The Presence of Absence…

  • Jharra Compton

    Someone in my life who for the past 30 years has been mentor, teacher, friend and sister is dying and I have just spent 10 days with her, helping care for her. I have no real idea how it will be when she leaves. All I can do is spend what time I can with her now and deal with each day as it presents itself. I know I will cope and survive but I also know I need to take good care of myself, too. During my stay with her, which at times was tough, I played one of your guided meditations each night to help me sleep. I came back to your site to download another for the moments when I need help with the stress – thank you for your recordings, for your wisdom and experience and for your blog, and I wish you love and peace x x

  • Thank you so much for writing and sharing your feelings and your process. I am so honored that my work has been of some help to you in this very challenging time .

    We never know how we will feel when something changes in our life like the loss of someone who has been a significant part of our field and our experience for so long. And in my experience, the feelings change all the time… But then, isn’t that life ! Always changing, always flowing . Our work is to stay on the journey, being present to wherever it takes us, and yes, most importantly taking good care of ourselves along the way.

    I wish you as much peace as you can find in this difficult time, and that you remember to take the time to care for yourself and be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

    Love, peace and blessings,
    Carol

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